What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
