So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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