The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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