I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
