no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
