And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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