help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
