dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
