I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm really into asian looking animals
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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