Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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