she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
