toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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