Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
