we have officially mastered the walk of shame
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
