I wannas sexs uuuuu
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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