I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
