I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You ruined the universe
Randomize
