just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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