garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Can I color on your dick again?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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