I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize
