Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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