Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
