how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
