i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
