32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
foreskin is a definite game changer
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
