i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
