gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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