i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
