summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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