Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
