Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
only you would photoshop your dick
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
