It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
