Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
