You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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