I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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