YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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