Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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