God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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