he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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