Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
