After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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