I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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