Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
