Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
