Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
