I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
