we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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