your room smells of hookers.
And success
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Every concussion has its silver lining
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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