so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
