I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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